A Bad Dream and Fear of Death

I had a dreary dream last night about a disaster that struck a place that I could not exactly recall. There were sights of stiff bodies. In the dream, I touched a person's feet and they were cold. The place was reeking with smell of dead people.

I tried to recall what came to my subconscious that day and I had recalled having read an article on RD about caring for the heart. I thought about my father and his previous bout with stroke and fear of his sudden death came to me. He is stubborn and would not listen when it comes to caring for his health. He smokes and drinks and sometimes could not resist eating too much. Talk about bringing up parents...snicker.

I have sensed that there is still that resistance in me when it comes to letting go of things and welcoming them as they come. If there's anything I fear most about is having my family die before I do. On the other hand, I also could not bear the thought of 'going' ahead of them because by then, I can't take care of them.